Thread: Getting beyond "Buenos"

Any Expats in PC have some tips for the socially dysfunctional gringos coming down for the first time? How do you get into the swing of this open and warm climate? Like what to do when the girl of your dreams catches your eye on the street and offers you a smile and a "Buenos". It must be hard to shake off so many years of negative reinforcement learned on the streets in the frigid north.

What are some simple things to try to get yourself out of your shell and into a conversation with that stunning beauty who looks your way?

You are coming to a country where many of the women are underemployed and undereducated. A chauvinistic society where they have few opportunities for advancement and will as a result do whatever they need to do to survive. Try to think with your big head on this one and proceed with great caution. This one of the oldest female survival tactics in the world and all Notre Americanos are thought to be rich. Hang on tight to your wallet and be very careful what you let your ego believe. You will most likely get in trouble if you don't. The competition is fierce for a man with money especially a foreigner who may take good care of a young woman. Often after you are hooked you will get the sob stories about the family, sick mother etc and be expected to spend, spend, spend.

Originally Posted by linda mckee

You are coming to a country where many of the women are underemployed and undereducated. A chauvinistic society where they have few opportunities for advancement and will as a result do whatever they need to do to survive. Try to think with your big head on this one and proceed with great caution. This one of the oldest female survival tactics in the world and all Notre Americanos are thought to be rich. Hang on tight to your wallet and be very careful what you let your ego believe. You will most likely get in trouble if you don't. The competition is fierce for a man with money especially a foreigner who may take good care of a young woman. Often after you are hooked you will get the sob stories about the family, sick mother etc and be expected to spend, spend, spend.

There is no doubt the attentions of an attractive young woman can be intoxicating and lead to very foolish decisions. But the assumption that talking to a woman in Panama is going to lead directly to something like you describe is a bit disturbing. Of course, there will always be those who simply want to discourage people from talking to each other, for any number of reasons. But why jump ahead to the disaster scenario? Should I assume every attractive woman who passes me on the street in Panama is just itching to jump in bed with me and start pumping my bank account dry? It may be the safe assumption, but it is also a certain path to missing out on an entire culture and spending a very long and lonely life.

I think the point of being able to get past hello is to actually have a conversation and enjoy the interaction with the person you are talking to. It's not just a trick for feeding your little head... but maybe that's just me.

Even if it were true that every woman in Panama is a dangerous force of nature, so what? Life without adventure is not life. You just have to be sensible about it.

It's also good for anyone to have a healthy approach to meeting and conversing with people of the opposite sex for the exact reason of avoiding the trap of seduction and exploitation. For one thing, you are probably in a more dangerous game if you only talk to people who push their way through your defenses, than if you reach out to people who are not so pushy.

So that's the basis of the question: how to reach out to the people you see in this particular culture, who you think you might enjoy meeting, but who are not actually grabbing you by the belt buckle. If nothing else, it may help one to better resist the temptation of allowing their buckle to get grabbed.

Well said, Rikjoh! Although I abhor generalizations, I've actually met more "predatory females" in the States than I have in any 3rd world country (and I've lived in a few). The illusion that 1st world women hook up solely "for love" while 3rd world women hook up solely to be taken care of is a gross misrepresentation.

If anything, I find 3rd world women more open to a partner with inner characteristics they find attractive (kindness, sensitiviity, ambition, sense of humor, faithfulness, family-oriented, intelligence, etc.) than the women I know in the States who are disproportionally interested in physical looks and/or size of bank account. If one more of my stateside, female friends complains one more time that they are "only attracted to bad boys" or that they can't find any "top shelf" guys to date, I think I'll scream! :-)

The bottom line is that there are predatory and shallow females in every culture.

By the way, Rikjoh, if you are looking for ways to connect more with the local culture down here I would strongly consider a Spanish tutor and a dancing teacher. If you can raise your level of Spanish to at least a working knowledge and then go an extra step to learn the basics of merengue and/or salsa, you will make a lot of new friends. Also, make an effort to get out of the "gringo cacoon" down here. It's important to reach out to the local culture or you'll end up like numerous gringos who come down here, do not learn the language, and never really experience the local culture. An amazing opportunity that some waste. So get out of your comfort zone and the rewards will be great.

Originally Posted by Roger

By the way, Rikjoh, if you are looking for ways to connect more with the local culture down here I would strongly consider a Spanish tutor and a dancing teacher. If you can raise your level of Spanish to at least a working knowledge and then go an extra step to learn the basics of merengue and/or salsa, you will make a lot of new friends. Also, make an effort to get out of the "gringo cacoon" down here. It's important to reach out to the local culture or you'll end up like numerous gringos who come down here, do not learn the language, and never really experience the local culture. An amazing opportunity that some waste. So get out of your comfort zone and the rewards will be great.

Thank you Roger! Hey, can you recommend any dance clubs where a gringo can feel comfortable mixing in? I tried this in Mexico one time but couldn't find a willing dance partner because the guys were kind of territorial about who they wanted to see dancing with the local girls.

I'd love to hear any kind of rambling stories about just meeting and mingling with people in Pananama, just for the general flavor and attitudes noticed, good or bad.

Originally Posted by rikjoh

Thank you Roger! Hey, can you recommend any dance clubs where a gringo can feel comfortable mixing in? I tried this in Mexico one time but couldn't find a willing dance partner because the guys were kind of territorial about who they wanted to see dancing with the local girls.

I'd love to hear any kind of rambling stories about just meeting and mingling with people in Pananama, just for the general flavor and attitudes noticed, good or bad.

I refer you to MRWOOHOO, the resident guru on this topic: MRWOOHOO Knows about the Panama girls - Panama Forum (MRWOOHOO Knows about the Panama girls)